The other day I deleted all the job apps from my phone, all job related bookmarks, and all but my most up to date resume from the laptop.
I have to make the best of what I’ve been given and continue to just take one day at a time. I need to not let this stress eat away at me the way it has.
I’m tired of having a dream two or three times of week where I’m not able to do something or go somewhere. (It’s not a reoccurring dream, but each dream has the same ‘plot’ – something petty keeps me from doing something or going somewhere. It has been as easy as trying to get from one room to another.)
This not being able to find a full time job has taken a huge toll on my mental and physical health and it’s affected my marriage.
While my self worth is still drowning, maybe I have a chance to throw it a buoy for it to float on for a while.
There are so many things that I have to process now, but I hope that this is a small step in a somewhat right direction.